Corin Chellberg's online something or other

There are a lot of things that annoy/piss me off so I thought as something to blog about so I can get into the groove of writing more.  These are in no particular order just stuff that rubs me the wrong way.

To start:

You: yes you, everyone I’ve ever met in my whole life has at least one thing about them that annoys the living hell out of me, usually theres at least three thing though.

When I can hear you chew

When you chew with your mouth open

When you put your feet everywhere all willy nilly

Terrible drivers

People who don’t know when they’re wrong

People who won’t let other people live their own lives

People who stand in my room while I do stuff

When I’m expected to entertain people when they come to my house

People who call me antisocial in my own living place

People who talk when theres something on TV

People who over think everything

People that are to paranoid

Are you picking up on a theme here

People who talk with food in their mouths

People with crazy high expectations

People that scratch to much

People that smack their lips

People that let their dogs bark all day

People that tell other people their religion is wrong

People that lie constantly

“Flaky” people

People that bring their little kids to rated R movies

Truly racist people

People that think yelling in english will help someone who doesn’t speak it well understand them better

People that think they’re in love with someone after a week of dating, then bitch and moan a week later when its over because they were “the one”

People who smell

People who can’t hear

People who mumble

People who always correct other peoples spelling

People who think their opinion is fact

People who act like they are better than everyone else

People who  pick their nose

People who spit

People that don’t seem to think their cigarette smoke bothers other people

People who can’t seem to clean up anything

People that talk way to loud

People that are real skinny but always complain about being “to fat”

People that whine about everything (which I realize I’m doing right now)

People that let their finger/toe nails get really long

People that sharpen their finger/toe nails

People that have no respect

People that think they’re “hood”

People that pretend like they know something they clearly don’t know

People that don’t say please or thank you

People that act like they are the center of the universe

People that are going to use this list to get on my last nerve

People that don’t know when to stop

People that assume they’re invited

People that don’t know when they’re not welcome

People don’t reply to texts

People that can’t take a joke

People that take things way over the top

People to are to judgemental

People that aren’t willing to make some sacrifices to have fun

People that try the same thing again and again and expect the same result

People that don’t get out of your hair

Thats all I can think of for now, I would be amazed if you finished this list and I would be even more amazed if anyone that reads this doesn’t do at least one of these things.

When I’m at work I do a lot of thinking, mostly because theres nothing else to do during mindless work and today I got to thinking about the universe and god and stuff.  My basic understanding is (and I could be wrong) that the universe is rapidly expanding into nothing from where there once was nothing, normally I’m not one to admit when I’m wrong even if I know I am but as far as this goes I don’t mind being wrong because it just makes no sense to me.  But never fear you can always choose something else that makes even less sense, some guy on a cloud makes a whole universe to see if he can make something worthy of hanging out with him forever in happiness where all your loved ones that believe what you believe will be together again.  I know this comes from Bruce Almighty but I think it sort of expresses what I’m gunning at, God is a mean kid sitting on an anthill with a magnifying glass, and I’m the ant. He could fix my life in five minutes if He wanted to, but he’d rather burn off my feelers and watch me squirm.  For some all loving being he sure does seem to be an asshole to a lot of people, and when things get shitty those people still turn to this man in the sky to get them out of their mess which if he loves them enough to help them out why would he have put them in the shitty situation to begin with, God sure does love to please.  My god rant sure did go a lot longer than my couple sentences about the universe, which I would love some input in btw because I could be wrong in my understanding and I would be fine with that.  Anyway thats all I have for now so feel free to leave comments and maybe suggest some ideas because I sure as hell never have any but I am damn good at ranting.

I usually have a lot of odd dreams and the odder they are the longer they stick around in my head, I have some that are still bouncing around in my noggin from years ago.  So now I invite you to take an odd trip with me as I list some of my weirdest dreams in order from less weird to weirdest.

1.I have a lot of driving dreams where I do a lot of crashing, even before I started driving.

2.  Sometimes I play Call of duty and World of Warcraft in my dreams.

3.I’m driving down to the farm where I sometimes go camping and having trouble steering and breaking I run the car off the road and whip the back around.  One of the guys we go camping with drives by and gives me a disappointed look.  I wake up

4. A friend and I were going to different places shooting people, the rest of the dream was us cleaning the guns.  And oddly we we’re ok with the whole thing.

5. The college humor staff and I were outside playing on a bouncy castle and making little kids watch because we couldn’t afford to go to the super bowl.  Thats as far as I’ll write about that one.

6.I start off in an area that reminds me of a Call of Duty map next to me is a field of grapes (idk what its called) on the other side of that a building with several windows and one open doorway across from me is a street with several abandoned cars and zombies roaming, I duck down to hide from them and run into the building where I get attacked and die.  I respawn in the same area, this is when I realize its a dream and tell myself I need a shot gun, I look down and have a double barrel this won’t due.  I think about a better shotgun for dealing with zombies and all the sudden I have a tactical shotgun and I’m ready to go. I run back into the building people following close behing I jump into a hole in the floor that leads to a small one windowed room.  A grenade gets throwen in and I knock it back out the hole with the gun and they throw another in I hit it again this time it came back at me I hit it again but it still didnt make it out of the hole.  I woke myself up, I didn’t want to die.

7.I’m riding in the back seat of a truck in the desert the passenger reaches over to the driver and cuts off his fingers with a pair of scissors. I wake up

8.I walk down stairs in my house open the front door outside there are cop cars and humvee’s in the yard, helicopters are flying around, I close the door and walk into the laundry room some how I know what I need to do I walk into the laundry room and the freezer is knocked over behind it are to aliens hissing and throwing things at me, I pull an amulet out of no where and give it back to them. I wake up

9.My whole family was preparing to go on a trip but we couldn’t find my mom, I go into my room and lying on my bed is a human skeleton, I look under my bed into air ducts and see ducks waddling through them, the ducks ate my mom.

10.I’m trapped in a mine with a bunch of people I used to go to school with.  There’s barrels full of black powder laying around everywhere and half of them are on fire a box explodes across from me buring a girl I run across the mine and start digging her out from under barrels of black powder as more burning ones pile fall in front of me I toss them to the side I find her hand and pull her out.  A few men find a steel door that’s bolted shut they slap some C4 on it and blow it open, we all walk out of the mine, when we emerge its me and several British chaps smoking pipes walking down a hill by a lake and we get attacked by a leprechaun a man swings his cane at it and knocks it out he then stomps it to death and kicks it into the lake.  We have to cross over a field of lilly pads to get to the other side of the lake so we start to walk over while the pads hold our weight perfectly, I see the leperchauns body lying on a lilly pad ahead of me a pull out a golf club and walk over to it, I raise my club and the pad starts to sink I take a quick swing before I fall into the water and wake up.

So that is a collective of some of my weirdest dreams, I’m sure I’ll be able to add more in the future.

How I hate heights, I don’t hate them in a box with a fox wearing socks or on a train or on a plane or in buildings but open space heights, where theres not jack to grab onto to keep you from falling.  My dads in a cast right now and has been for awhile now so he couldn’t get the Christmas lights and I volunteered to do it, not thinking at the time that I would have to stand on a ladder.  The second I start climbing up the ladder my legs start to shake and I’m a little worried, the second I stop climbing I lean forward and put my knees on the rungs as I use a pole to try and get the lights which in turn makes the entire ladder shake only freaking me out more, so I make the wise decision to get off the ladder and just climb onto the roof, a little better but still freaking out a bit because its a lot steeper up there than it appears from the ground.  I could go on about my day on the ladder and roof experience but I would rather just say that I hate heights and they hate me, If man was supposed to climb on the roof he would have extendo legs.

Now being the nerd that I am I have seen a fair share of zombie flicks and theres one thorn in my side about it all, that is if you don’t include that fact that it is a zombie movie to start with.  Now if you didn’t know already the zombie virus is spread by biting like rabies.  If youre lucky enough in this zombie situation to be torn to bits good for you, but if youre one of the unlucky many that just gets bitten I’m sorry to say you die and come back as one of the living dead, which is where my beef begins.  My dad works in a hospital and as a result we are lucky enough to get funny, interesting, and gross stories to be shared at the dinner table, one of theses was a man who got hit with a golf ball in his back near his shoulder.  The ball broke the skin and caused a severe infection which resulted in them removing muscle and flesh, later on his whole arm sadly in the end the man died.  But that’s where I’m going with all this if youre bitten and you “survive” that old bite wound would become infected since youre to busy attacking the living to treat it at the moment.  I would think with combinations of animals and flesh eating bacteria this would cause the living dead to fall apart leaving anyone who is still alive after the out break with nothing but a lot of clean up work.  In Dawn of the Dead the people in the mall could have easily waited it out, sure there was no hope in being rescued but dead flesh rots its just a waiting game, and if the need to eat gets really bad you can always try cooking zombie flesh real well to make it safe.  So my advice for the zombie apocalypse wait it out.